Being Legitimate

I had methodically looked online to find some autographed baseballs that I wanted to add to my collection. Not that I needed anymore, but I wanted them. I made the purchase after choosing four of the 31 autographed baseballs that were listed. I knew seven or eight were not originals and they were noted so. A third of the signatures were ones that I already had in my collection. And the others I had to choose as to whether I wanted to spend the money. That piece is always limiting. I showed some restraint in buying the ones that I wanted rather than buying more because I didn’t want somebody else to have them or I benefited from amassing “more.”

I sent the money electronically and then I was greeted by this response several moments later. “I have your package ready to ship. But to be honest, after looking at your profile with no picture and only three friends it gave me cause to wonder. I’d like to be sure that you are legit.” I replied with, “I’m not on Facebook and don’t have a profile that advertises who I am.” I added my counseling business’s website which answers many unknown questions and gives credence to my existence and my personhood. After several minutes of silence, the response I got was “maybe I need professional counseling for living with suspicions and mistrust.”

I agreed wholeheartedly and did not respond. Several hours later, I got a response that said “I guess you didn’t understand my humor in my last comment.” I gave my final response, “I deal with a population at times that is not always trustworthy, so the timing today is interesting.” I understand because I work with people who are assuming on a regular basis.

So, what are the lessons that we learn from this exchange?

We have become inherently distrustful of people that we know, and even though we don’t. Our suspicions protect us from the unknowns, hide us from our own personal fears, and give us an opportunity to avoid taking chances in ordinary relations (I’m not speaking about the creepy ones. That’s another issue). They keep us from experiencing the enjoyment of interacting with others who could add to our existence or enhance our everyday lives. Let your curiosity and desire to know more precede criticism.

We assume that what somebody says in their profile is a true definition of who they are and makes them more believable, trustworthy, and fun. Manage your own expectations in relationships. Think about the validity of your current published profile.  Do you need to update and correct it? Look for ways to be comfortable with who you are without having to mask it with untruths or project yourself as being more than you are.  You are enough. (And look for others who are comfortable with who they are, too).

We make relational transactions based on assumptions, untruths and manipulated lies and take huge chances without truly not getting to know someone. Accept yourself, live with the understanding and knowledge, and search for and want persons who are satisfied with who you are and with themselves, too. Accept satisfied opinions. Acceptance allows for more peacefulness.

That’s legitimate. I finally received my baseballs.